I am excited for the next couple additions of my article. It is one I have wanted to share for a long time but had other stuff to write about first. This three part series has three separate stories in which you can tell that God’s hands where all over the events. So without further to do… I give you the first part of “Rose”.
It was four in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. Here I am…Senior year of high school this is supposed to be a time to remember and instead, I am broken. Here all this time I thought faith was a feeling…and now I know I am wrong and now I am trying to answer “what is faith” with no help. All I want to do is be by myself but instead I am going to a nursing home every day for the next week to talk to everyone and anyone. It’s a part of my high schools outreach to the community, we call it missions week. As I was sitting there praying…I could tell God was going to teach me something through all this. The next morning I left for the nursing home. I was getting a tour of the place and they were introducing me to the residence. I was smiling, but broken on the inside. We walked into a room and I look at this lady sitting in the bed. Something came over me, I think I’m going to learn something from her. That’s when the tour guide went “This is Rose, she was a pastor for 40 years, a youth minister for 10, and a missionary to Greece for 15.” I thought she is going to answer all my problems. So I went in there ready for the Spirit to just take over and my heart is going to be healed that instance. It didn’t work like that. She barely talked. We had nothing in common and she could barely hear me. I went every day and nothing changed. Thursday came along, the last day, and I had given up. I was about to head out to lunch when God went, now go visit her. I thought no I’m not going. Why would I go? What’s the point? Something told me that I just need to go, so I did. I took my buddy Mitch and we walked to her room. When we got in her room we saw she was reading her Bible. She is paralyzed from the waist down and cannot sit up without support. She looks at me and tells me to sit down, we talked and what she said was all true but it wasn’t about faith. I didn’t know what faith was and I yearned to know. I figured this was it, my last chance to learn something from her, so I started to walk out after we were done talking. She looks at the window and then looks back at me and says in this soft voice, “come back after lunch, please?” How could I not come back, I came back and we watched Pilgrims Progress and as the two hour movie came to a close I stood up. I was standing beside her bed and she closes her eyes. She opens them and looks straight into my eyes. Something came into that room, the Holy Spirit. I hadn’t told her anything I was going through, I’m a private guy, and I don’t share what I am going through. The room was completely silent and she whispers in that small frail voice of hers, “Faith is not a feeling, the Spirit is the feeling, faith is what you do when there is no feeling.”