Friendships vs. Friendzone

Mustard Seed BannerSo. Relationships. Big sigh.

More specifically… the Friendzone. Mixed reactions of gasps, backing slowly away, and tortured cries of, “It exists!”

First of all, it really does hurt to be rejected or dumped and placed firmly in the Just Friends category. It hurts a lot – especially if it happens repeatedly. It makes a person feel so inadequate. I’m not trying to diminish that hurt. It’s completely valid. What is not valid, however, is complaining about the Friendzone.

The thing about friendship is that it is completely and absolutely wonderful! Meaningful friendships can be some of the most fulfilling relationships that we have.

Jesus calls us to serve one another. “A new commandment I give you,” He says in John 13:34. “Love others as I have loved you.”

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God,” writes Paul in Ephesians 5:1-2. In verse 21 he calls us to “[submit] to one another out of reverence for Christ.” And in Galatians he writes, “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Even Peter tells us to “live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God” (1 Peter 2:16).

We are called to serve others, to put their needs above our own. When we focus on the fact that we got “friendzoned,” we are focusing on ourselves and not on other people. We are missing out on opportunities to serve others because we are so wrapped up in ourselves. If we are truly loving others by serving them, we will focus on their needs and not our own desires.

I know that’s difficult. Sometimes it’s downright impossible. But not for Christ. His Spirit changes us. When we spend time with Him by reading the Bible, praying, and fellowship with other Christians (blessings that He has given us so that we may know Him more), serving others comes naturally. We simply can’t help but emulate Him.

When it comes to Christian relationships, we need an adjustment of thought. Friendship is not some crappy second place prize. Friendship has worth because people have worth. It can be a beautiful opportunity to love and serve others, so let’s start seeing it as such.

2 responses to “Friendships vs. Friendzone

  1. I would love to link another article looking at selfless love in the context of marriage that I read not too long ago. Often when a person is hurt from one relationship, he either selfishly seeks out another or retracts inside- attempting to hide his heart from the world. It is a safe place. Reaching out to the Lord, and even to others in friendship, often splits open the wound, but it is only through facing the problem head-on and becoming vulnerable that healing can be sought.
    http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

  2. ❤ LOVE ❤
    You are so right Rosemary! Go you. What a beautiful post on such an important topic that occurs every single day! I think this occurs way too often, and it could even be a possible cause of so much divorce these days! Marry your best friend and every day will be the best day of your life! Why would anyone ever want to do anything different, I don't know! I hope you find your best friend ___forever___<3

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